In this world, you will come across your fair share of crazy people. But.... girls, women, chicks, whatever you want to call them. They take the cake when it comes to having the crazies. Before you go getting all feminist on me... relax. I am a female. I'm allowed to say this stuff.

There's a little something I like to call the inner psycho. Every girl has one. I'm sure you could argue this about men too. But most of my experience is in dealing with psycho girls... so let me continue. (Although I have dealt with some wacko exboyfriend things too... but we'll save that post for another day.) So yeah, back to my point. In my opinion, deep down in every female lies the inner psycho, you could even call it the inner psycho/ inner bitch. Or as I often call it, the IPB.

Don't get me wrong. I am not calling every girl a psycho or a bitch. Here's the trick. Some women can CONTROL this feature. And control it very well, I might add. You might never see it, or see very rare glimpses of it. (FYI: if you found a girl like this, you better do your best to keep her. they don't come around that often.)

The women that can control the IPB are some of the coolest chicks you'll ever meet. They are laid back, very understanding, like to have fun, etc. However, the broads that can't control the IPB are some of the scariest people you'll ever meet. These are the whiney, bitchy, over-emotional, lunatic, up-your-ass kind of girls. The kind that when you're dating them want to spend every waking moment with you, and can't understand why you need your space. The kind that when you break up with them they still stalk your every move, and any new person in your life. You should do your best to steer clear of these girls.

The girlzzzz in my life rule. So I hope none of them take offense to this. None of them possess a high IPB, and this is why I am able to be friends with them. However, to any other chicks out there who are reading this and getting angry... ha, I think your Inner Psycho/Bitch is coming out full force. You might want to get that taken care of.

 -SRG.

p.s. As a side note, and nothing to do with this post... the st. anthony's community lost a very important person yesterday. Mr. Perrino. May he rest in peace.

Being single is like body surfing, having a significant other is like owning a swimming pool.  Now hear me out.

Everyone enjoys going body surfing. (if you don't, shut the hell up and don't ruin my awesome metaphor)  It's fun, exciting, whenever you tell someone you went body surfing they get all jazzed up about it too.  "You went body surfing, awesome I love body surfing, I wish I could go" (If this isn't how you respond, play along anyway) 

The main problem with body surfing is that good waves don't come along too often.  Most of the time you're sitting around looking up and down the surf like an idiot.  (I'm sorry but no one can look cool waiting for a wave unless you're wearing a wet suit. But wet suits don't figure into my metaphor, so forget that)  The other problem is when you do hit a good wave, it lasts for about 10 seconds.  After that, you're scratching your stomach on the shore with sand up your ass, surrounded by dead jellyfish.

Now, owning a pool.  Owning a pool seems like the best thing ever.... for people who don't own pools.  Most pool owners become disenfranchised with their ability to swim on a whim. (Check out that rhyme)  As soon as you talk about maybe owning a pool instead of sporadic body surfing with a pool owner they get all huffy.  "Owning a pool is overrated, I'm always cleaning shit out of it.  And vacuuming is a bitch. I'm usually cleaning the damn thing more than using it." they say.   You say that they’re crazy for saying such things.  Being able to swim anytime they want, even naked sometimes, why that has to far better than not knowing when you’re going body surfing next, let alone the next time you’ll see a good wave.

Buying a pool is a big commitment, and fucking expensive (let’s not get started on that, cause parking at the beach all the time is pricey too).  Most people body surf until the desire to swim on whim becomes so strong that they’re willing to put up with the day to day bullshit of upkeep.  And some just body surf forever, but they usually end up with rashes and jellyfish bites.

-SRO