Debbie Downer

One of the SR Squared duo asked me to join in the blog fun, and give them a change of pace with a guest post. I do feel that I’m somewhat connected to them, not only because Scott and I are often mistaken for brothers (the sibling kind, not the kind we’ll never be mistaken for), but I also share the SR nomenclature. Scott and I can recite quite proudly how we’ve known each other since he was 1 going on 2 and I 5, how we lived next door for most of our lives, and how our names happen to be contained within each other. We’ve told many uninterested people (much like you now) how I am Brian Scott Russell and he is Scott Russell Owens. And even more amazingly, if his father Russell is thrown in the mix then the three of us make up my full name. This is one of our joys in life, so stop mocking us!!

Now on to the point of my post. I was trying to sum up all my worldly ideas into one concise posting, but that’ll never happen, so some weekend events gave me the chance to concentrate on one observation and maybe throw in some other thoughts along the way. This past Monday was my birfday (I’m still waiting for my Garfield card Scott!!). And the Saturday before some of us went out down the street to the pier for some bar hopping. Already I can see that much background explanation is needed. But first let me state my problem so that you can see the universal applications. Basically the idea is that we were out having a great time, and one of my friends came along with her group of friends and almost ruined what turned out to be a fantastic celebration. This is always happening with this friend. She is always the one that I have to worry about, because I know she’s going to complain or just be negative in some form. So we were happy when it turned out that she decided just to leave instead of waiting in the line and paying cover to get in. I know I sound like an ass, but just read on.

I hadn’t really categorized her until the next day. There was a short skit on SNL that I watched Sunday, thanks to Tivo, the greatest invention since the IPod, which involved a group of friends at Disney World. Most of the group was having a great time, excited about their trip, but then there was Debbie, who always managed to bring the group down with negativity. Although everyone was laughing by the end of the skit, it was only because Fallon and Sanz couldn’t get through a eulogy without cracking up. The real lesson was that there’s always that one person that brings you down and ruins a good time.

So here’s the background on the celebration. I live in paradise, I’m not gonna lie. Not even a quarter mile down the street is a beautiful beach on the Pacific, it’s sunny everyday, there are scantily clad hot women everywhere you go (yes some are pumped with silicon which is a whole other rant, but even setting the fakies aside, guys have it good here), all that is LA with Hollywood and Beverly Hills is only 20-30 mins away (like 15 miles but traffic’s a biatch!), and there’s a group of bars at a happening pier right at the beach which we easily can walk to (picture living at the New Haven Green area, without the cheesy meatheads, the cold winters, the humid summers, where right behind Bar is the nicest beach you’ve ever seen, and the bars don’t make you question all of humanity after a night of drinking). I can’t stress enough how much I’m not exaggerating the Utopia that is Hermosa Beach, but descriptions mean nothing until you experience it. So basically there’s not much to complain about here. Now my friend, Debbie Downer, lives up in downtown LA in the ghetto. She chooses to live up there because it’s next to Hollywood and all the artsy fartsy liberal, down with SUV people live. Now even though the weather is just as nice there, I wouldn’t move 3000 miles to live anywhere but right at the beach. We do have fun going up there occasionally so it works out.

Even when I mentioned to her that we were going out, and she said she’s definitely in, I knew it was going to be bad. I mean, I want her there because she’s friend, but I know that it means worrying about babysitting her, and impressing her with my town. The problem is that the bars get crowded fast, and you need to go out early between 9-10 to avoid lines and cover. I warned her of this over and over all week. I really do want all my friends to have a great time when I’m out with them (to the point of calling it an affliction), which is why I knew if she got there any later than 10 and had to wait in line, there would be trouble. So of course.. she shows up in her usual fashion at 11:45, calling and complaining about my dumpy ass town where all the bars suck and the beach sucks and this sucks and that sucks.  So I decided that I’m not dealing with it, since I warned her and knew that there was no pleasing her, I told my friend Jeff that he’s dealing with her. And like a good friend he did. In the end she left, and left another nasty voice mail berating my terrible town in paradise, while we were having a classic night of fun.

I promise you, if it was someone I was thinking that was going to be positive, like my pal Scott, I’d have gone out of my way to make sure he stayed and got past the line and we all got together somehow. The bar, the girls, the drinks all don’t matter if one of the good friends can’t be there to join the group. A bar group is a funny thing. The collective mood is very important. Introduce the wrong part, and the sum suffers. Adding a Debbie, is like adding “Trouble” to your party mix cd, sure you actually enjoy listening to the song when you’re in the mood, but not when you just finished screaming the words to “Ants Marching” (and to complete the simile, adding a Scott would be like adding Ants, no matter what your mood, it’s always elevated as a result).  We all have our negative days, but since I’ve known her, she’s been a Debbie Downer, as has her group. I came to a realization that there’s no time for the Debbie Downers in your life. All the worrying about keeping them happy, and listening to them bitch and moan is only going to ruin your mood and possibly the mood of those around you as well. We must avoid these people at all costs!! And if people are avoiding you, then it’s time to look yourself in the mirror for the Debbie Downer in you.

I want to thank the SR Squared duo for letting me rant on their blog. Some thoughts before I go. First.. when did this blog thing become so big? I develop web applications for a living, I feel like I just found out about this new thing called email. B) Is it possible to propose to someone via blog? Cuz I’m thinking I want to marry Shannon right now. I know I don’t know you, but I mean seriously, Bill Simmons is your favorite sports writer?? I read him religiously, and I can promise you that everything he says about being a Boston sports fan is to a T. If he ripped the thoughts right out of the neurons in my brain, it wouldn’t be any more exact. So if it’s possible to marry someone based on their favorite ESPN sports writer then I’m in. The sad thing is that my sister met him and Jimmy Kimmel and got invited to Adam Corrolla’s house to hang with all of them (although she didn’t go), but had no clue who Simmons was. Once my cousin (the only other female I know who even knows who he is) and myself found out, we acted like she had just met Jesus and thought he was just another crazy robe-wearing, God worshipper.  Finally, I’ll warn ya, if you don’t like those skirts (I get your point, but as a guy, god bless them) then don’t come out here.. just trust me.

BSR